It was on the way to my family's lake house, talking to my husband, when it dawned on me. My perspective changed and I felt a weight lift from my spirit. I had no idea that I had even been carrying anything. Or even more shockingly, just how much it would change the approach to my art.
When I first started painting in acrylic, I would analyze the world around me, relating everything to the colors I would use to paint them. It was instinctive, and sure, maybe even obsessive. When I started paint pouring, I would see patterns in nature that I would identify as looking like particular pouring technique. It's almost as if I was investigating God's painting techniques.
Now, I have only been experimenting with watercolors for less than a week. But as we drove through the mountains, I commented to my husband, look at that perfectly blue watercolor sky! He laughed, ahh your new obsession.
As we got closer to our destination, a dark cloud appeared over the perfection. I thought, if I painted that, I would be super critical of having muddied my water and ruined the painting. But there it is! It's real. It's not a mistake! And then I was grateful.
Grateful that God had shown me how hard I am on myself, how being a perfectionist hurts me and hurts my efforts, and grateful that He was giving me this gift and insight to allow me to breathe. And so, everything changed in that instant. I'm not saying that I will suddenly become a different person. But the way that I approach my art, I had forgotten that it was supposed to be my time with the Lord. I had forgotten the joy that I had with it when I first started painting. I needed grace to get back to making it something I love.
Where in your life do you need to give yourself some Grace?